How to Detest God_Part 3
I said earlier the 'first time’ I gave both my middle fingers to God, which means there have been more occasions of me doing the action of blasphemy. I’m not proud of this, but I can’t count them on one hand but two. As I aggressively poked the air with my middle finger(s), I either internally shouted ‘f*ck you’ or replaced the swear with an external scream that sounded like that from a wild animal in great agony. Some of these occasions were when I was overwhelmed with negative emotions over my failed attempts at redemption—redemption for the missed opportunity to study in America, that is. I kept applying for graduate programmes and scholarships, and it took a few years for me to finally procure both a place in a master’s programme of my choice and a scholarship that covered most of the expenses needed. Some other times that I resorted to the profane outburst, having failed to contain my anger and misery, were when my mum gave me a hard time with her verbal attacks during my prol