I said my maternal grandfather was the only ‘normal’ grandparent because the other three are not. They simply don’t have a scintilla of love in them. I suspect that my maternal grandmother might be pathologically deprived of maternal love (you’ll see why I think so if you listen to my radio play Steady Eyes, in which the grandmother character is based on my own granny) . As for my paternal grandparents, I don’t even know where to start. Not only have I never been shown any form of affection by them, but they’re also big-time misers, preachers and religious fanatics—I tell you, there is no worse combination than this.
When I was agonising over the financial crunch, one of the main reasons why I eventually relinquished a place at AFI and Columbia University and a Fulbright Scholarship, my paternal grandparents turned a blind eye to it. I mean, I don’t blame them for not having tried at all to help me financially. They don’t have any obligation to do so. And considering that my dad still hasn’t repaid the money he owes them, I understand why they wouldn’t want to help, even though they could if they wished. But the fact that they avoided my parents’ calls and generally wanted nothing to do with us during that rough time for my family is a different story that only depicts them as heartless.
My paternal grandparents have always been a couple of Scrooges to me. Apart from the little ceremonial offering they gave me after I made deep bows to them on Lunar New Year’s Day as a kid, the only occasion I remember them giving me any money was when I’d finally succeeded in securing a place in a master’s programme at LSE and a Korean Government Scholarship three years after forgoing the opportunity to study in America. Grandmother gave me a cash card loaded with 100,000 won, which had clearly been given to her rather than her purchasing it.
Not only are my paternal grandparents the most ungenerous people I’ve known, but they’re quite mean in every negative sense of the word. Considering all the unbelievably inappropriate behaviour she’s shown towards my mum as a mother-in-law, I suspect my grandmother is a sociopath. The episodes demonstrating this are too numerous, so I’ll gather them together for another instalment. For this one, I’ll focus on my grandfather instead. I told you that my dad still owes him money. After giving up on the American graduate school admission and the prestigious but insufficient scholarship, I strived so hard to create another opportunity to study abroad. For the Korean Government Scholarship, I kept passing the first stage where they assessed candidates’ eligibility based on documents such as essays and undergraduate transcripts. Then I failed at the second stage, which involved a candidate interview. The day I had the interview in my second attempt to win the scholarship, I woke up super early, feeling nervous as I got ready. There was a ping on my phone and I wondered who could be texting me that early in the morning. It was none other than my grandfather, demanding that I sign a written pledge that I’d repay all my dad’s debts to him by a specified year. Erm… could I have gotten any more negative vibes than that on such an important day that’d determine my future? Naturally, my endeavour to procure the scholarship fell through that year, resulting in it taking three whole attempts (hence three whole years) for me to finally get hold of another opportunity to study abroad on a scholarship. Well, thanks, grandfather. Thanks a whole bunch.
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